i asked my mom how she met my dad and she said at a college basketball game this guy got distracted and got hit by the ball and got a huge bloody nose and he came up to her after the game and said “i was distracted by you” with like blood all over his face and jersey
so i asked my dad and he said “my friend told me he’d give me 10 bucks if i asked a girl out with my broken nose and she said yes”
I HATE WHEN YOU TRY TO SHARPEN A PENCIL AND IT DOES THE THING
“So what have you been up to in the holidays?”
IM LAUGHING SO HARD RIGHT NOW BECAUSE THIS IS THE EXACT POSITION IM IN AND IM MAKING THE EXACT SAME FACE
thing i will never finish
so the Steven Universe (an upcoming Cartoon Network animated series helmed by Rebecca Sugar) pilot hit the web today and I just really love the look of these ladies, like a lot!
you gotta look good when you’re a guardian of the universe
would you like some cream cheese on your beagle
keep your cream cheese away from my dog
one time when i was younger i had some of that no tears shampoo and i wanted to see if it was legit so when i was in the shower i squirted it into my eye and i think i went blind for like three days
i think you may be a bit retarded because no tears meant like no tears in your hair; no tangles….
Please tell me I’m not the only one who thought no tears as in crying too
MY LIFE IS A LIE